


10 years today.....how could you leave us that way?

by LadyMorphine



Series: Writing Prompt One-Shots [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Depressing, References to Depression, Suicide reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 13:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMorphine/pseuds/LadyMorphine
Summary: 10 years today.....how could you leave us that way?





	10 years today.....how could you leave us that way?

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off the song 10 years today by Bullet For My Valentine.  
> And partials of the song are featured in this work.  
> And if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts I would not suggest you read this.  
> And this will be the first in a series. And I’m sorry if this offends anyone at all as that was not my intent with this.  
> But all and all I do hope you enjoy this work.

10 years today.....how could you leave us that way?

The colors of my room were dark like a starless night sky. I slowly pushed myself out of my bed. My eyes careful to avoid the pictures in the mirror of my dresser. The happy memories that were now shroud in darkness. I couldn’t look at them. Not today or ever again.

I heard mom crying from her room. She always cried today year after year and refused to leave her bedroom all day. But however, I, on the other hand, had to keep up my image of perfection like I did every day. From dusk till dawn my perfection had to be maintained.

And so I went about it as I did every day. First, my skin, then my hair, then my makeup, and then finally my clothes and shoes. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth until they were as white as pearls.

I then went downstairs where the room was filled with bright and beautiful sunshine. I hated it. I hated the sunshine and I hated why it had to show today.  
I hated it. I hated it so much.

I grumbled about as I ate my breakfast. I didn’t look up to meet anyone’s eyes. I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. Eyes are the gateways to the soul and I couldn’t bear to look into anyone’s soul today.

I felt cold air push me out the door when I left and I fumbled my steps nearly falling onto the cobblestone driveway. I waited for the bus and when it arrived I stepped on it.

It was filled with the usual mindless chatter as it always was. Though a few boys stopped and whistled at me as I walked by. They always did. It had become a normal thing for me, and I never knew different. I sat down by my friends on the school bus. Their chatter clouded around me and they pretended as though I wasn’t there. Like I was a ghost like I didn’t exist at all. On the way to school,l the sky began to darken.

“Just like it should today,” I thought as the bus stopped and I headed into school.

The hallways were filled with other kids and I continued walking not wanting to get caught in conversation at all. Never again. The pain was too great. Never again.

I remember the bell ringing in my ears. The bell signaling ten minutes until first class. It echoed in my ears like a church bell traveling over rolling European hills.

I felt my legs take off under me one foot in front of the other in a perfect pattern as a raced towards the gym locker room.

As I entered the locker room I was nearly suffocated by the smells of spray-on deodorant, sweat, body spray, fragrance mist, and perfume. I stumbled over to my locker like a drunk. I fumbled while opening my locker. I shoved my backpack in and got into my gym clothes then stumbled out to the football field and got into line with the others.

That’s when I saw it. The time.

Ten years ago today mom and dad got the call that nearly killed them. Their hands were shaking. When my four-year-old self-was told my brother was gone I was guilty and wondered why you would never come back home.

I remember mom and dad crying and seeming like they would never stop.

Ten years ago I stood behind the wood that held you Cessair. My legs were shaking the whole time. We let you go with gifts for your journey and melodies to help you on your way.

Although you’re gone Cessair. A candle still burns brightly for you. My final call to you. I know you’re listening to me. How could you leave us that way? And just where did you go ten years ago today?

I was your little sister Raphaela your “Raphie” as you called me affectionately. You’re shining little light. But apparently, my light did not shine bright enough for you big brother. I miss you. Why did you have to leave us? Why? What could we have done so things would have ended differently? Answers I will never know. Because you took your life ten years ago today.

Ten years today.....how could you leave us that way?


End file.
